The below conversation is from a psychological counseling session.
Hi, how are you today?
I'm not good. he cheated me you know? And she started crying.
Who cheated you? How?
Between sobs,
He was my friend, mentor and the love of my life!
And?
In the beginning, he promised me the whole universe. He was loving and kind. Then suddenly he started ignoring me. When I tried calling him he was reluctant to talk. He was distant. I kept calling and he did not answer! Where did all the sweet words go?
Then?
I saw him with someone else. Then later with someone else. He has many 'friends'.
So, what is your status now?
I am depressed.
Hmmm.. What do you want to do now? Do you want to confront him? Confront his other friends?
No! I don't wish to do that! I just wished for things to be as before. I think the world of him. Why didn't he think the same?
Well, human beings are the most complex creatures in this world. They are unpredictable. Everyone's life is ruled by their inner needs. People do things in selfishness. They forget their attitude hurt others. It's unfortunate that many don't even care about the others' hurt.
Yes, he has hurt me too much. I have no energy to get up in the morning. No interest to do work. I cannot sleep. What should I do now? How can I change his feelings?
Can I tell you something? Nobody can change anyone. The only person whom we can change is we ourselves. I cannot change you. I can help you find yourself. Look for ways to feel better. Anti-depressants and sleeping pills are not the permanent solution for all these. You need to build your defense system.
Isn't multiple relationships wrong? Why is he doing it? Didn't I make him happy?
Do you know that it is not possible to know what is going on inside someone else? Most of what we see is not real. People portray what they want others to see. Don't you and I do that too? Multiple relationships are people's choice. It is up to them to indulge in them. It depends on how much they can afford it, in terms of time, energy and money. The moral point of view might differ. It is about being honest and dishonest. You can never expect someone to come and tell you, "Hey, you know, you are not the only person I'm seeing. I'm seeing you today and I'd continue seeing you if I like you enough.If I meet someone else who attracts me more, I'd see them too!' And if at all someone was that honest with you, what would your reaction be? Won't you freak out?
Yes, I guess. But I would prefer if he had been honest with me. I might have accepted this better if he didn't move away silently. I feel betrayed! What am I to do now? I feel that I'm rotting, decomposing!
That's a great question. The best thing you can do is stop being idle. List out things you must do everyday. Sort out your free time. Plan what you would like to do when you're not busy. Meet more new people. When I say meet people, I don't mean jumping into another relationship. Noncommittal relationships are much more fun. Help children from your society. Give a helping hand to women who are suffering around you. If you need those kind of contacts, I can give them to you. Follow me around. I have a big group of needy people who would love and appreciate your help.
You make it sound so simple Miss. I wish it was as easy as that.
Nothing is easy and nothing is difficult. All you have to do is try. Do you know that I was one of the patients here not too long ago?I tried and I have overcome my problems. Now i help others.
Can I come with you tomorrow?
9 a.m. See you at the lobby.
Shaking hands, both of them walked out of the counselor's room. Life continues!
Hi, how are you today?
I'm not good. he cheated me you know? And she started crying.
Who cheated you? How?
Between sobs,
He was my friend, mentor and the love of my life!
And?
In the beginning, he promised me the whole universe. He was loving and kind. Then suddenly he started ignoring me. When I tried calling him he was reluctant to talk. He was distant. I kept calling and he did not answer! Where did all the sweet words go?
Then?
I saw him with someone else. Then later with someone else. He has many 'friends'.
So, what is your status now?
I am depressed.
Hmmm.. What do you want to do now? Do you want to confront him? Confront his other friends?
No! I don't wish to do that! I just wished for things to be as before. I think the world of him. Why didn't he think the same?
Well, human beings are the most complex creatures in this world. They are unpredictable. Everyone's life is ruled by their inner needs. People do things in selfishness. They forget their attitude hurt others. It's unfortunate that many don't even care about the others' hurt.
Yes, he has hurt me too much. I have no energy to get up in the morning. No interest to do work. I cannot sleep. What should I do now? How can I change his feelings?
Can I tell you something? Nobody can change anyone. The only person whom we can change is we ourselves. I cannot change you. I can help you find yourself. Look for ways to feel better. Anti-depressants and sleeping pills are not the permanent solution for all these. You need to build your defense system.
Isn't multiple relationships wrong? Why is he doing it? Didn't I make him happy?
Do you know that it is not possible to know what is going on inside someone else? Most of what we see is not real. People portray what they want others to see. Don't you and I do that too? Multiple relationships are people's choice. It is up to them to indulge in them. It depends on how much they can afford it, in terms of time, energy and money. The moral point of view might differ. It is about being honest and dishonest. You can never expect someone to come and tell you, "Hey, you know, you are not the only person I'm seeing. I'm seeing you today and I'd continue seeing you if I like you enough.If I meet someone else who attracts me more, I'd see them too!' And if at all someone was that honest with you, what would your reaction be? Won't you freak out?
Yes, I guess. But I would prefer if he had been honest with me. I might have accepted this better if he didn't move away silently. I feel betrayed! What am I to do now? I feel that I'm rotting, decomposing!
That's a great question. The best thing you can do is stop being idle. List out things you must do everyday. Sort out your free time. Plan what you would like to do when you're not busy. Meet more new people. When I say meet people, I don't mean jumping into another relationship. Noncommittal relationships are much more fun. Help children from your society. Give a helping hand to women who are suffering around you. If you need those kind of contacts, I can give them to you. Follow me around. I have a big group of needy people who would love and appreciate your help.
You make it sound so simple Miss. I wish it was as easy as that.
Nothing is easy and nothing is difficult. All you have to do is try. Do you know that I was one of the patients here not too long ago?I tried and I have overcome my problems. Now i help others.
Can I come with you tomorrow?
9 a.m. See you at the lobby.
Shaking hands, both of them walked out of the counselor's room. Life continues!
and i am my very own counselor!
ReplyDelete