Belief and believe

Sitting through a fast I'd think the day  seemed quite unexciting without having the eating agenda.

The day usually started with plans for breakfast. After working for some hours the next natural thing was to think of lunch. Followed by tea break then dinner.

Though the day looked empty and uninteresting, the fast continued.

I myself wonder why i do it.

Why i stay without food? Why starve till I'm dizzy and weak.

It's simply a state of belief. I believe that it strengthens me. Perhaps my belief made me believe.

Most importantly i need to be strong. Strengthen myself from people. People always hurt me.

I have no idea why. I don't know what makes them tick. Why do they behave as they do? Don't they think before they leap? Don't they feel disgust at hurting others?

My natural reaction should be retaliation. But unfortunately it doesn't happen that way.

I rationalize my actions and its consequences. I pause and think. I ask the power within for logic.

I request for answers from the cosmic energy. I weigh all aspects. I pray.

Instead of trying to dissect others and discovering them I decide to build my defense.

Strengthen my immunity against hurt and pain.

Sometimes my decision seems all wrong. I might revert from my orbit. Run back to that pain and hurt.

No policy lasts. Decisions change. Mind gets confused.

 In the midst of a fast i reach a sense of surrender. I give up.

I listen to the drums and the songs. I feel peace.

But drums and songs cannot fill a full day. Reality always knocks on the head. Hard and brutal.

 I plead to the universe to envelop me into its arms and absorb me into it.

It's easier to give up on humanity. To just cling on to myself and my beliefs.

Something out there will save me. I believe so.

So, I fill my time with all that i can do. Zumba, Latin, Bharatham, karate, kalaripayattu, work and work and work.

 I keep marching step by step, step by step towards higher grounds.

Though unknown it's still higher ground.

When some tell me that I'm extraordinary, I realize i am. Not for their obvious reasons but for what I've sacrificed myself for.

The Tamil Hypocrisy.

Recently, I found a book on the bookstore stand.  i flicked through the pages of the book which dictates ways to better educate neglected Tamil children.

Looking at the author’s name at the back page i wanted to roll and laugh.

This person who was preaching this and that doesn’t practice what he preaches. I remember this person as someone who terrorizes the classroom.

 Children take leave and refused to attend this particular teacher’s class.

The abuse that one person caused to the many children is horror. Smashing faces onto the wall. Knocking heads onto the table.

The verbal abuse sprayed  itself speaks volumes on the specs character.

A voice from within chimed mercy, child. Think no malice. Practice good. I put the book back and walked towards my car.

If i have a voice in the ministry, I would abolish the system created for the Tamil schools.

I don't wish to quote the hindrances and measures needed to be taken as I've already written two articles based on these woes.

There are simply too many hurdles to face which cause hindrances for Tamil children. I would prefer to have a Malaysian school where my children grow as Malaysians.

It doesn't matter if some label me as a betrayer of my race. I'm on my own salvaging Tamil children contaminated by the so called saviors of the community.

I have my own regime of 25 children whom i groom and raise to excellence.

Today we are cleaning lice infected hair. I would prefer to trim long sticky tangles and make them more manageable but culture declines my approach.

Teaching these kids cleanliness, to wash and cleanse methodically and watching them walking with heads held high with newer confidence, smelling good, looking cool, is the best price one can strike.

It's a step by step approach. Every discovery is a learning process for my children. They discover how it feels to smell good. They realise the beauty of looking majestic and neat.

Most importantly they just realized how it feels to be confident.

It's going to be a continual process. Children will come and go after a metamorphic experience, like a caterpillar emerging as a butterfly.

I recently made a promise to a headmaster in a school in Allappiddy, Jaffna that i will come back soon to teach children there.

I intend to do more from Allappiddy,  to Calcutta, which has been my very first dream.

There have been many transformations. I've lost count of the many children I've met but i know my journey is still a long one.

Random

Farouk and I walked around Kota Raya. It was quite congested. We were looking for someone. A mother. Of a student.

Any idea where she will be Farouk?

          Random Miss, random.

           What does she do, Farouk?

            She sells lemongrass.

            Oh! How much can she sell that for?

            Random Miss, random.

            Can she make money by selling lemongrass? It's quite cheap. She probably needs to sell many per     day?

            Everything is random Miss, random.

             I don't understand Farouk. Why do you keep saying that?

             Our life is like that. One day we sell stuff here. Another day we sell stuff elsewhere. We cannot work in one place. The Municipal Council chases us, the Immigration officers are after us, even the police. Everything is random.

              Some months we stay in one place, some other months we stay elsewhere. Sometimes we don't have a place to stay. When we sleep in the streets, they are after us too. So, even that is random, where we stay! Food we eat, also random!

              Nothing is for good Miss! Everything is random! That's why I want to study good. Go to the university and change this random.

               I just stood speechless, not able to swallow as a big bubble of pain blocked my airline. For now I could only emphasize that I exist for him and the others. Promise my service for them.

surat pembaca

Apabila saya menulis artikel Terima hakikat kelemahan SJKT, saya  mengikut naluri berdasarkan kebenaran. Tujuan saya menulis artikel tersebut hanyalah satu. Demi kemajuan anak bangsa saya. 

 Saya mengimpikan satu impian anak Malaysia. Anak Malaysia ini sudah tentu akur kepada Laporan Hussein Onn yang menekankan Bahasa Malaysia menjadi bahasa pengantar utama sistem pendidikan negara dan bahasa Inggeris pula dijaga kepentingannya sebagai bahasa antarabangsa. 

Saya tidak berniat merendahkan atau mengganggu perkembangan bahasa ibunda saya, iaitu Bahasa Tamil. Setiap tahun saya membantu ibu bapa murid-murid saya untuk memastikan anak-anak mereka mendapat kemudahan menghadiri kelas POL di sekolah menengah mereka. Setakat ini saya juga telah berjaya memulakan kelas POL di beberapa SMK demi keperluan anak-anak murid saya dari SJKT.

Rakan saya yang telah memasukkan anak beliau dalam SJKT atas nasihat saya banyak merungut. Beliau seorang profesional dalam bidang perubatan. Anaknya dalam tahap 1 dan beliau menghadapi banyak masalah dalam membimbing anak beliau terutamanya dalam matapelajaran Matematik dan Sains.

Buku-buku rujukan Matematik dan Sains sangat kurang dalam bahasa Tamil.  Beban guru-guru bertambah membuat terjemahan buku SK ke Bahasa Tamil. Saya berpendapat ini kerja membuang masa padahal buku-buku rujukan sudah sedia ada dalam bahasa Malaysia. Kenapa kita tidak mahu menggunakan sumber-sumber yang sedia ada dan sengaja menyusahkan diri? 

Pembelajaran Matematik dan Sains dalam Bahasa Malaysia secara tidak langsung akan membantu mengukuhkan penguasaan bahasa Malaysia. Ini akan menyelesaikan pelbagai jenis masalah yang timbul dalam penguasaan Bahasa Kebangsaan dalam kalangan murid SJKT. 

Sudah beberapa kali beliau meminta pendapat saya untuk mengeluarkan anaknya dari SJKT dan mendaftarnya di sekolah swasta pula. Anak kedua dan ketiga rakan saya sudah pasti tidak akan dimasukkan ke SJKT. 

Saya bimbang SJKT akan kehilangan klien-klien profesionalnya kerana masalah-masalah sebegini. Penurunan dalam enrolmen SJKT pada masa kini berbanding zaman eteMS mungkin kerana wujudnya isu-isu sebegini. 

Pada masa yang sama, saya berdepan dengan anak-anak murid saya dari SJKT yang kini di SMK. Mereka kaku menangani matapelajaran  Sejarah, Matematik dan Sains yang kelihatan begitu janggal buat mereka.

 Transisi mempelajari matapelajaran Bahasa Malaysia dari sekolah rendah ke sekolah menengah sudahlah mencabar. Inikan pula mempelajari istilah sains yang telah dipelajari dalam Bahasa Tamil dalam Bahasa Malaysia pula. Anak-anak saya cukup tergugat dan patah semangat untuk belajar bersungguh-sungguh.

Sememangnya, masalah ini sedang  berlaku untuk jangka waktu yang lama. Bukankah kini masa yang sesuai untuk menyediakan suasana optima untuk anak-anak kita?

Pada ketika inilah artikel Uthaya menarik perhatian saya. Apa salahnya sekiranya kita memperbaiki kelemahan-kelemahan SJKT? SJKT menjadi yang terbaik dan cemerlang untuk anak bangsa? SJKT menjadi tumpuan semua rakyat Malaysia?

Maklum balas yang saya terima daripada rakan-rakan menjadi pembuka mata bahawa bukan semua berpendapat sama dengan saya. Ada segolongan berpendapat kedudukan SJKT terancam kerana artikel saya ini. 

Pepatah alang-alang pekasam , biar sampai ke pangkal lengan dan peringatan oleh John F Kennedy yang menyatakan tujuan pendidikan adalah kemajuan pengetahuan dan penyebaran kebenaran, terngiang-ngiang di telinga. 

Bukankah ada pihak-pihak tertentu yang diberi mandat untuk menjaga kebajikan sekolah Tamil? Adalah menjadi kewajipan politikus kaum India untuk memastikan SJKT muncul terserlah dan kedudukannya tidak tergugat. 

Kebalkan SJKT di mana perlu. Pastikan kebajikan guru besar dan guru-guru terpelihara walau apa perubahan dibawa masuk. Sepanjang tempoh perkhidmatan, saya memang amat teruja dengan kesabaran dan dedikasi kakitangan-kakitangan di SJKT yang amat prihatin mendidik dan mengendalikan murid-murid yang datang dengan pelbagai masalah dan cabaran. 

Saya pun ingin kempen “SJKT Pilihan Kita” berjaya cemerlang. Tetapi kenapa harus wujud situasi sehingga terpaksa berkempen untuk menjadikan SJKT sebagai pilihan masyarakat? Bukankah sesebuah institusi pendidikan pasti akan dipilih kerana kelebihannya dan sekiranya tidak bukankah wajar meneliti kelemahan yang wujud? Haruslah  kita membasmi kelemahan yang ada untuk membina serta menjamin kedudukan yang kukuh. 

Saya rela menerima pendapat serta bekerjasama dengan mana-mana pihak yang mengambil berat dan sanggup membantu dalam memastikan masa depan anak bangsa terjamin. Saya juga mahu anak-anak didikan saya melangkah masuk ke alam sekolah menengah dengan penuh semangat dan keyakinan.   

Pada masa yang sama, saya tergamam melihat sesetengah pihak yang tidak pernah menolong mahupun menyumbangkan walau setitik peluh untuk kebangkitan anak bangsa kini melakukan serangan peribadi terhadap saya. 

Saya masih berpegang pada kebenaran.

'Truth will always prevail.'

makalah politik tempat kerja

Dia berjalan dengan bunyi tik tak hasil daripada kasut tumitnya yang berwarna-warni.  Seorang rakan kerja berjalan sambil tersenyum lalu bertanya,

 "Dua incikah tumitnya?"

Dia terkeliru seketika,

 "Hah! Oh, kasut? Saya tak ukur pula!" Jawabnya lalu terus ke arah pejabat. 

Rakan yang tersenyum tadi terus berjalan ke kafe berdekatan. Ada rakan-rakan lain yang sedang duduk sambil minum.

 Tajuk perbualan mereka ialah rakan yang baru berjalan pergi.

“Umur sudah hampir 50 tahun tetapi memakai kasut tumit glamor.” 

“Pakaiannya pula kebaya kipas yang bukan longgar. Warna kainnya ceria. Rambut diwarna. Tidak kurang pula wangian yang disembur.” 

“Gaya ala pramugari yang datang bekerja di pejabat.”

Memang situasi sebegini kerap berlaku di banyak tempat kerja. Ada beberapa kakitangan yang menonjol dalam penampilan diri dan tatacara bekerja.  Ini mengungkitkan pelbagai kesan dan masalah.

Apa yang memeritkan keadaan ialah si dalang yang mengeruhkan situasi menjadi masalah yang besar sehingga mengganggu kerja-kerja diselesaikan dengan sempurna.

Apabila selesai bercerita, selalunya salah seorang  rakan akan membawa mulut kepada rakan bertumit tinggi tadi dan memberitahu sebagai sahabat misali beberapa perkara yang telah dibincangkan. Akan kelihatan seolah-olah nasihat yang diberikan itu amat penting.  Ia diberi kerana rakan ini sangat mengambil berat tentang sahabatnya.

Sebenarnya nasihat yang diberi berupa hasutan dan akan menimbulkan perasaan kurang puas hati di lubuk kecil rakan tersebut. Dia pula akan mula berfikir dan merisaukan diri dengan membuat spekulasi siapakah yang bercakap bukan-bukan tentang dirinya. Dia pula akan mula memandang serong ke arah rakan-rakan sekerjanya.

 Duit yang dibelanjakan untuk keperibadian dirinya hasil titik peluhnya sendiri. Kenapa pula mereka-mereka ini sibuk mengkritik dan berspekulasi?

Wujudlah ketidakselesaan apabila bergaul dengan mereka kerana hati asyik ragu-ragu dan sibuk meneka siapakah si kambing hitam yang telah menikam belakangnya.

            Lama-kelamaan, perasaan curiga akan meningkat dan menyebabkan rakan itu menjadi muram dan melatih diri untuk menjauhkan diri daripada sesiapa yang diraguinya. Ada juga rakan yang menjauhkan diri  kerana cemburu.

Timbul juga keadaan di mana rakan yang menonjol ini mempercayai sangat rakan pemberi maklumat. Lalu dia mencurah rasa curiga serta kesakitan hatinya mengenai rakan-rakan yang bergosip mengenainya.

Cerita ini pula akan berkitar dan menjadi satu racun yang akan merosakkan suasana kerja.

Apabila difikirkan sedalam-dalamnya, kakitangan yang menonjol ini akan membuat kesimpulan bahawa semua orang iri hati akan keperibadiannya yang menyerlah.

Tempat kerja haruslah dijadikan tempat yang memberi keseronokan dan ketenangan. Sekiranya tidak wujud keharmonian di tempat kerja, kemungkinan gangguan akan berlaku dalam menyempurnakan kerja.

Ia juga boleh menyebabkan kemurungan. Sementelahan, situasi yang semakin keruh boleh mencetuskan pergaduhan dan menjadikan suasana kerja yang amat tidak selesa.

Akhirnya yang menjadi mangsa ialah hasil kerja. Tidak juga dapat dinafikan bahawa seseorang kakitangan atau pekerja yang berkaliber menjadi kurang produktif kerana masalah sebegini.

Persoalan yang timbul, haruskah seseorang yang berkeperibadian tinggi mengurangkan penonjolan dirinya atau perlukah masyarakat di kelilingnya mengubah perangai.Perlukah pula seseorang yang diperlakukan sebegini mengamalkan sikap tidak endahkan situasi tersebut dan meneruskan kerja dengan profesional.

Gejala-gejala sebegini yang mengganggu alam kerja boleh dibendung dan diubah untuk menjadikan suasana yang lebih kondusif,  mesra dan selesa.

Ceramah motivasi  kerja boleh dijalankan  dari semasa ke semasa di mana kakitangan yang kurang pandai menceriakan diri didedahkan kepada cara penyerlahan peribadi.

 Bengkel gaya diri seperti sesi perawatan kaki dan tangan, rawatan muka, mendandan serta menghias rambut juga boleh diadakan sebagai aktiviti  untuk meninggikan keperibadian pekerja dan pada masa yang sama keyakinan diri terbina.  

Di samping itu, aktiviti-aktiviti rekreasi wajar dirancang dan dijalankan oleh pihak pengurusan untuk merapatkan jurang pergaulan antara kakitangan. Bah kata pepatah, ‘tak kenal, maka tak cinta’.

Dengan bergaul dan menjalankan pelbagai  aktiviti bersama, anggota syarikat akan dapat membina hubungan silaturahim yang membolehkan rakan-rakan sekerja menyedari bahawa mereka boleh dan perlu bergaul mesra dan bekerjasama bagai aur dengan tebing demi etika pekerjaan dan juga kepentingan organisasi.  

Mereka juga boleh mengetahui bahawa rakan yang menonjol itu sebenarnya bukan sombong ataupun angkuh. Banyak juga panduan gaya diri yang boleh dipelajari daripadanya.

Sememangnya, semua kakitangan boleh menjadi lebih sofistikated, bergaya dan membina keyakinan diri yang tinggi.

Segala langkah positif memperbaiki kekeruhan situasi di pejabat menjadi tanggungjawab setiap anggota agensi. Pentadbir berfungsi memberi idea dan tunjuk ajar untuk meruntuhkan tembok ego antara ahli pertubuhan. 

Setiap anggota syarikat perlu bertekad dan bekerjasama menjayakan segala aktiviti dan berusaha mengikis sikap serta perasaan negatif yang mengganggu kualiti kerja.

Dengan berjayanya aktiviti-aktiviti proaktif sebegini, suasana harmonis di tempat kerja dan produktivit maksimum bolehlah diharapkan.

karangan/ulasan upsr- Menjaga kesihatan diri

Tuliskan cara-cara menjaga kesihatan diri

            Menjaga kesihatan diri ialah mencegah diri daripada dijangkiti penyakit. Ia merupakan faktor terpenting dalam membentuk hidup yang sihat dan sejahtera. Terdapat beberapa aspek penting yang harus diutamakan untuk menjamin kesihatan diri yang optima.

             Kebersihan merupakan aspek terpenting dalam menjaga kesihatan. Kita mestilah menggosok gigi sekurang-kurangnya dua kali sehari. Kita juga perlulah mandi dengan menggunakan sabun dan syampu untuk membersihkan kulit dan rambut kita. Kita juga haruslah memastikan kuku jari dan kuku kaki dipotong pendek dan dijaga kebersihannya.

              Makanan seimbang sangat penting untuk memastikan kesihatan diri terjamin. Pemakanan buah-buahan dan sayur-sayuran dalam kuantiti yang banyak akan meningkatkan imuniti badan. Pemakanan makanan berkanji, protein dan lemak mengikut piramid makanan akan memastikan pembesaran dan kesihatan optima dicapai.Masalah obesiti juga boleh dikawal. Minum 10 gelas air sehari juga amat penting untuk menjaga kesihatan diri. Ini akan mengawal suhu badan kita.

              Selain daripada menjaga kebersihan dan pemakanan yang baik, kita juga harus bersenam dengan kerap. Mempunyai hobi yang menyebabkan kita berpeluh dengan banyak adalah baik untuk diri kita.

              Seterusnya, tidur dan rehat yang cukup sangat penting untuk menjadikan hidup kita sihat. Tanpa tidur yang secukupnya kesihatan sememangnya akan terganggu. Seseorang murid perlu tidur untuk sekurang-kurangnya lapan jam sehari.

              Apabila kita mengamalkan gaya hidup sihat dengan menjaga kebersihan diri secara optima, makan makanan seimbang, minum air yang cukup, bersenam serta berehat dengan secukupnya serta mengamalkan aktiviti berekreasi secara berkala, hidup kita pasti akan bahagia dan sejahtera.

            

karangan upsr- dialog- masalah disiplin remaja

Kamu dan rakan kamu berbual-bual tentang masalah disiplin remaja yang semakin membimbangkan. Tulis dialog antara kamu dengan rakan kamu itu.

Arul:    Hai, Ramli! Selamat pagi. Kamu sudah habis makan?

Ramli: Sudah tentu, Arul. Loceng akan berbunyi sekejap lagi.

Arul: Ya, memang betul. Eh, Ramli! Kenapa si Shamsul didenda di khalayak pagi tadi? Apa kesalahannya?

Ramli: Hai, Arul! Awak tidak mendengar senarai kesalahan yang dibacakan oleh guru disiplin sebelum mendendanya ke? Shamsul telah merosakkan kereta Pn Rohana kerana Pn Rohana telah menegurnya di kelas. Shamsul banyak masalah disiplin. Dia sering ponteng sekolah dan pernah ditangkap merokok pula.

Arul: Oh, begitu! Memang kebelakangan ini masalah disiplin amat membimbangkan di kalangan ramaja. Amat menyedihkan! Kenapa boleh terjadi begini, Ramli?

Ramli: Yalah, Arul. Ibu bapa pada masa kini terlalu sibuk mencari wang sehingga gagal menumpukan perhatian kepada anak-anak mereka. Kerana kurang perhatian, remaja menjadi lali dan tidak berdisiplin.

Arul: Memang betul kata awak. Remaja yang terbiar menjadi lebih liar. Apabila seronok dengan kebebasan mereka mula ingkar kepada peraturan dan nasihat orang tua. Mulalah mereka ponteng sekolah. Apabila dipaksa pergi ke sekolah mereka pun membuli rakan dan melawan kata guru kerana mereka benci datang ke sekolah.

Ramli: Betul kata awak, Arul. Dengan kebebasan yang baharu ini mereka juga mencuba untuk merokok dan membuat aktiviti-aktiviti lain yang tidak berfaedah.

Arul: Akibatnya, pelajaran mereka merosot. Sikap mereka ini bukan sahaja memalukan ibu bapa tetapi juga menjadikan hidup pelajar itu sendiri musnah.

Ramli: Hmmm. Tepat sekali penjelasan awak Arul. Janganlah kita terjebak ke dalam aktiviti-aktiviti yang akan memundurkan kita nanti. Eh, loceng sudah berbunyi. Mari kita masuk kelas mengikut masa.

Arul: Sudah tentu, Ramli. Masa itu kan emas.   

Arvalan and the ball

Teacher, come quickly! They are having a fist fight in the field. 

Rushing to the spot, I found two bigger buys hitting an eleven year old boy. Seeing me they break free. The little one was in tears.

What's going on?

 This stupid boy, he took my ball and he tore it. Now it's of no use. It has become useless. The bigger boy, Nishanth, shrieked. He was almost in tears. 

No ma'am. He's lying. I paid for the ball. He has already collected twenty ringgit for it. I paid him everyday.

He's the biggest liar. He only paid me five ringgit. That ball cost me fourty ringgit. I worked as a waiter for three weeks to buy it. Now its useless. I cannot play with it anymore.  

Promising a solution i sent them back to their classes.

A few weeks passed.

I bought two football and gave one to Arvalan and Nishanth. Nishanth was unhappy that Arvalan received a ball too.

"Miss Elly, you are not fair. Why should he get a ball. He is the one who destroyed mine," he demanded.

I called him closer.

"Come, let's walk around the field," I said and we started walking.

Do you know that Arvalan is a little unwell? 

 He's so.. naughty. I wonder where he's not well. Probably in the head!

The look i gave him snapped him into thinking and he blurted softly.

What's wrong with his head?

He has a growth.  

      "A growth ," he whispered.
I did not want to explain too much. I didn't think Nishant needed detailed information. I only wanted him to know that it was not a good thing to hurt Arvalan.

Since then, i notice the bigger boy is a bit more careful in handling the younger one.

Loke Yew Highway

The new Loke Yew highway is a blessing in disguise. From where i am, everywhere is accessible through this new route.

Whenever i take the flyover and start exhilarating,  I recall SRK in the movie Pardes, speeding over the California highway. Open hooded car, wind blowing.
That's exactly what i do too. Often this highway ia not crowded.

Only recently i discovered something about this.  Every entry charges a toll of two ringgit. Once i topped up the smart tag for ten ringgit.

Late evening i realized that the top up had disappeared. That meant i had made 5 trips down the same highway just on this particular day!

That i considered to be waste of lots of money. So now i would juggle and evaluate on how a rush my trip is. If i have time i take the longer route. If I'm in a hurry I'd take the highway.

Its either a choice of spending twenty minutes or two ringgit on a trip.

Every ringgit saved is good. Every minute saved is good too.

Depending on the situation. 

The colours of Ahimsa

The restaurant was crowded. Every table was booked. Except for one single table which had a reserved sign on it. A group of people walked in. They walked towards the table. Once seated the waiter approached them.

We are pure vegetarians. Please make sure the food is hygienic and prepared without onions and garlics.

Shortly after the waiter moved away, something fell from that particular table. The glass broke and shattered to pieces. The elder woman in the group got up in anger and slapped her maid who had dropped the glass. She pulled her ears and screamed,

You stupid idiot! Look at what you have done! Clean up this place immediately!

It was accidental madam. I did not d...

The maid was not allowed to finish her sentences. Another slap landed on her face.

Stop telling lies! Your carelessness has no end. Your salary will be deducted for this.

 The maid knelt down to pick the glasses up. Even as the waiter offered to clean the spot the 'madam' refused. She made sure the maid cleared every piece. She also made a point to the waiter that maids should be put in their places otherwise they would take full advantage and cheat the employer.

So, what is the criteria that creates bosses and labourers. Does these posts determine a hierarchy in humanity? How does financial status make some humans bigger than others. Aren't all humans the same?

Doesn't mistreating fellow human beings contribute to bruising the great word often uttered.

 Ahimsa!

What is ahimsa? It is derived from the root word hims which means to strike, himsa would be injury or harm. Ahimsa is the opposite which would mean without striking, cause no injury, cause no hurt or cause no harm.

So, a person eating vegetarian food without garlic and onion but causes hurt physically and verbally is considered practicing ahimsa?

Perhaps there is a world of good in people not killing and eating animals. But there would be a universal of good if all humans practiced patience in daily life. Look before you leap, think before you hurt.

Often people get upset watching someone around them hit a jackpot or attain great success. How come he got it and I did not? Why is life this unfair? What is it that is lacking in me?

 The boiling uneasiness that sings within is the greatest himsa.

 May what is good for him happen for him.
And may what is good for me happen for me.

Feel bad not for good received by others. Free oneself from malice. Cleanse your heart from evil. Speak not harsh words. Hurt not another human in any way.

At the same time stay away from those who are capable of causing you himsa.

The five senses controlled. Speak no harsh words! Hit not another! Hear not of rumours! Look not at violence! Last but not least, kill not for pleasure!




   

moving forward

One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight.. Front two cha, cha, cha, back two  cha, cha, cha, right two cha, cha, cha, left two cha, cha, cha. One, two half turn, two, two half turn, front two cha, cha, cha, back two cha, cha, cha, full turn, New York...

As turns were made i noticed something which was very weird and uncomfortable.

i was the only Indian and the rest were Chinese. My heart sank when I realised that no one wanted to hold my hands and be my partner.

Steps continued in my mind. Some steps missed. Then back to cha, cha, cha. My line of thoughts were muddled. Annoyed.

 

In December 1955, in Alabama, there was an incident in a Montgomery bus. A seamstress was arrested for refusing to give her seat to another. The reason was she being black and the other privileged passenger was white.

But that was 1955! How can this be happening now? Its 2016.  After 61 years, skin colour is still an issue?

The first thing that came to mind was i shall quit!

For starters ego had left the system perhaps ten years ago. So, strutting out like the proud peacock wasn't the elegant thing to do. 

 

Fees were paid, shoes were bought and enthusiasm built. Why should I back out now because people were filled with silly prejudice? Still something felt bruised.

The dance instructor treated me with some justice and I ended up not quitting. As the classes continued the cha cha progressed to rumba then samba. I made some slow discoveries.

First, I had one new partner. As the first person broke the ice, another partner turned up. Perhaps they realised my dark skin colour does not transfer to their fairer skin just by touching it.

Now as I move to the New Yorks, twists and turns I find myself dancing with almost everyone. some of them have even become quite friendly.

Only one young lady casually commented that she had been in this class since it first opened and I am the first non chinese dancer here. She also said that she finds it very weird to see me here.

Is that good or bad?

Oh! It's not bad. Really! Maybe good too, you do dance very well!

Ah, thank you! That's really very kind of you.

I remember those days while i 'had' to go for state level choir practice. It was a compulsory thing as no Indian representative was there. Reluctantly i attended but when everything concluded I was a descant vocalist and richer by several songs. some fame and a small allowance. Sometimes it does become a perk to be the odd one out.

What I feel disconcerted about is that being here in Malaysia, a multicultural country, there aren't many places where the merging of these cultures happen to be natural and whole. The minority remains lost and undiscovered.

 In many functions the same group performs in the name of representing the ethnicity of each culture. I would not say that my race is dumb and untalented. I discover new talents every day. Only, I haven't found the networking needed to project them.

In the earlier days I have been imagining building hostels and housing neglected humans, especially women and children. Now the pattern has actually changed. I'm nurturing school children and some women without a hostel.

I don't need a building. I don't really need big funds. I just make changes. I change lives. Every change is remarkable. Most importantly, every change, changes me

Managing, directing and the discipline that followed

I never admitted nor advertised that i managed and directed a company. I always feared that someone is going to find out. Why, I never knew. Now that I'm no longer working and I'm free it doesn't worry me anymore.
Being a managing director is an enthralling post. Preparing company profile, authorization letters and attending meetings were interesting, high packed activities which i used to juggle with other responsibilities and commitments.
I remember my partner saying, you are like Kaali, you must have multi limbs, that you multitask and complete everything on time.
Of course i have a company secretary otherwise twelve hands wouldn't have done all the job.
Meeting people is also fun especially the entrepreneurs and the associates. Attending dinners and functions give you an opportunity to meet extraordinary people with lots of talents and commodities.
I spend lots of time with the mediocre group and when i meet the high and mighty, I bring their attention to my rundown mates. Some has been helped and many troubles resolved.
All these and some has actually created me, the disciplined, hardworking, multitasking woman in her very late forties, who's doing her best to change many lives.
Now, I do things with a difference. I do what i like. I start a project, I conclude it. I meet people. Whom i like, I mingle, those who don't flock, I fly away.
Life has become simple. For some whom I've left behind, stay behind with forlorn looks, as things will never go back to that angle ever again. Once bitten I'm very very shy, I don't intend to be bitten again. I don't bite but i don't tangle either.
Broken glasses don't patch. Its as simple as that. Simple policy is never to be hurt again. 

White suits and the irony within

As i trod behind the line of white robed pilgrims, I could imagine or pretend to be one of them. Of course I'm not going to Mecca with them. Far from it.
I love being in white. It gives me comfort. Simply a good feeling.
 Yet, often as my hands reach for my whites, an inner voice chids, do you really want to be in whites, aren't there rainbow colours running within you?
When i grab my karate 'GI' and run to my dojo, jumping up and down, there's nothing spiritual about me.
At other times, when i cha cha or rumba around the court with this cute Chinese dance master, Henry, I'm just vibrant and high. Happy.
When i run for my drama practice, I'm definitely not in white, my next costume is a Singhala saree, tied, kandyian style.
While i train the Bharatha nattiyam steps, a future surprise act even for myself, I don't remember whites, only pure ecstasy of sounds of drums and bells chiming from my anklets.
Then comes the probing from the most colorful rainbow from within. The streaks that lights that little light within which seeks the other light from afar. Will it happen? Will these two lights join and complement each other to reach that perfect harmony? Is that light the light from the Almighty? I can only wonder but i often hope and wait, for that perfect feeling of belonging of going home. It has happened once. Will it happen again?
But once the mood passes my heart stops and seeks whites again.
Perhaps I'm just clearing all my heart's pulls and needs. Perhaps once all yearnings are fulfilled i can move on? I wonder when that will be, quey Sera Sera.

Maasi sambal, the Maldives treasure

When i was little, I used to have a great pleasure eating the 'maasi sambal'. My grandmother made it without fail every year for my grandfather's yearly death anniversary. It was made as an item served for him at the altar.
Whether my trip there was duty bound to attend the prayers or out of love for the old man, I definitely looked forward for the meal afterwards.
The maasi fish is a very hard, dried fish and to break it, you need to soak it for many long hours.
My attempt to cook it once was quite disastrous, so i left that delicate side to my grandmother.
Now that she is no longer around, it has been close to seven years before i got a taste of it again.
It was in Paris that this happened. A friend brought it home for dinner and then the obsession recharged.
Once home i hunted high and low in the Little India streets in Kuala Lumpur. None found.
A second trip to Paris secured two bottles of this item. Which i cherish and use occasionally.
This recent trip to Jaffna brought on a pot of gold where this item was concerned. I managed to obscure more bottles of this fish with the addition of dried shrimps which was the bigger version of the 'sennaangkuni'.
With this loaded, I'm looking forward for at least six months of having this delicacy. My heartiest thanks to a phenomenal, lovable mom from Allaippiddy, Jaffna. Items courtesy of Vijays Stores. :)

Jaffna

When i was a little girl, I was often unhappy whenever i read the Ramayana. Often I have conflicts within,  on the characters in this epic. I could not find it within me to adore the great hero, Rama. Often i wondered how majestic Ravana was. How talented and superfluous this King of Lanka was. Even when we stripped the shadow play, the Wayang Kulit, during the pre university studies, my admiration often got distracted to great Ravana. If i had had the time and opportunity i would have resurrected the other side of Ramayana and created a diverse project with variety of climaxes from the Ravana's point of view. Now as maturity and knowledge have taught that literature is flexible and can be looked at any point, i dare to speak out my inner thoughts. Often, talk about this Majestic King comes up when i speak with my foreign students from Sri Lanka. They always speak of Ravana with the utmost love and respect due for a mighty King. Soon,  I'm going on a trip to Jaffna. Speaking of the trip to them brings many kinds of hope and a distant longing for home. I am carrying their hopes in my heart like little gold fishes kept in a safe solid bowl. I will release it into the air of Lanka land and pray all their hopes and wishes come true. Hope is a great thing. With persistence everything is possible.