Ascetic healing

Was there pain in your bones, joints?

There's always pain in my bones. I cannot specify if there's new pain now.

Was there pain in your eyeballs? Especially when you close your eyes?

Yes, I think there was.

And the fever?

It comes and goes. Every evening. Then morning.

Did you expose yourself to mosquito bites?

Mosquitoes don't bite me usually. We can all be sitting and everyone would be complaining that they are getting bitten but i don't have that trouble with those insects. But recently some mosquitoes did bite me.

Where was this?

It was in the hospital. I went to visit someone.

Was he having any difficulties due to mosquito bites?

No, he had an ankle fracture. Someone else in the ward had been admitted for dengue.

I see. Then what happened?

About three mosquitoes bit me. Since it's an abnormal occurrence i immediately noticed the sting.

Hmm.

I tried to squeeze the sting out but nothing oozed as you know mosquitoes have very tiny stings.

Amazing observation you have.

Perhaps it can be concluded that I'm observant. Not amazing ;)

On the tenth day after the bite, the fever came. Pain around the body became more pronounced. Headache.

Did you do the blood test to find out what was wrong with you?

I didn't go to a clinic at all.

Why??

I hydrated myself with Gatorade and 100+. I also drank young papaya leaves' juice. It seemed to reduce the fever.

Should you take such a risk?

I'm fine. Remember when i had that severe backache? And the villaasana dream?

Yes. The backache went away.

The angina in the heart?

Yes, you said you dreamt that you sat under a waterfall.

It was no ordinary waterfall. It had rose water flowing out first, then sandal, then saffron, then milk and finally lotus came falling on my head, as i sat in awe, wondering what was going on.

You came to test your heart after the dream and the inflammation was gone. I wouldn't really believe any of these stories if I'm not your regular physician. I cannot present this to the medical council but i can listen to you in amazement.

I do find it amazing, myself. I'm unsure what's behind all these dreams but i do know that the cosmic power does look after me in a good way.

So what happened this time? Dreams again.

I have dreams every day. There's too many that i cannot define everything. But when something specific appears and it connects with the current happenings then i pay attention to it.

Hmm. What happened this time?

There was a little girl. She was sitting in a wooden chariot. She was in a simple green suit. She was eating biscuits.

Biscuits?

Yes. She gave some to me. The biscuits had leaves in them. It was like neem leaves only it wasn't too bitter. It tasted more like vilva leaves. But not quite.

And..

When i swallowed it, it became very bitter. I couldn't contain it in me. I vomited.

Ohh!

She gave me more. I had to eat it. And this time i didn't throw up.

You ate it.

Yes and it upset my stomach. My tummy hurt so much and i got up.

It was really hurting?

Yes. I was purging. A few times. The symptoms are now disappearing.

The mosquito bites'?

Yes. I guess if i go to a lab for a blood test now it might be negative.

You don't really need to go for a test. You just maintain the water level in your body. If the fever comes back then you come see me again.

You think it will come back? The fever?

Maybe it might. There are risks. Everything has risks.

I know that. If something tricks me in that way, it means it's time for me to meet my Creator. Which isn't bad. We call it fate winning over our intelligence.

Judging from past experience i don't think it will. Someone up there is giving you a helping hand when you fall. I'd say you're simply blessed.

Thank you. I do feel i am blessed. In many ways. And i say thank you at every possible moment. 

Sack on my back. Part One

When you walked in, you totally took my breath away!

Hmm. How did I do that?

You're so beautiful. Look at you. I love the shape of you!

Thank you. That sounds like a song. Your words.

Those tattoos on you?

Yes?

How did you get that?

You mean when?

Yes, when and how?

I have ten tattoos. All over.

Oh! Details, details please.

Well, I cannot give you all the gory details. I had it done in a few phases of my life.

I see.

The very first few were done in Thailand.

You went to Thailand?

I lived there for four years.

Ohh! I really don't know much about you, do i?

Nobody does. I have been quite a mystery. Now that many things have changed i can talk about me.

Tell me how you went to Thailand.

I was 18.

18? That was 15 years ago?

25 years ago. I'm 43 now.

Holy cow! Seriously?

Yup. Back to my story. I was 18. I was restless. I had just finished my high school. My results were nothing to shout about. I had no offers from any colleges nor universities. I was quite bored!

Your parents?

Mother. Single parent. Who slaved herself to put food on our table. She was too busy she wouldn't have noticed anything about me.

That's sad!

Yes, I guess. I pierced all over myself during that time. She didn't even know that!

You never tried to communicate with her?

I would try. She'd sleep off while I'm talking to her.

Ohh!!

Soon i decided to go to work. I went to a saloon. I thought i could manage hair. Perhaps learn to cut and trim. Or at least wash some heads.

You sound cynical!

I've reason to be. That's when my life took a radical twist. Everything changed.

What happened?

I was young and sweet. 18.

I can imagine. Then what happened?

Then, my boss started giving me lots of attention.

How romantic! Was he rich and handsome?

She was rich. She was handsome in a way.

She?

Yes, she. She took me out for dinners and functions. Dressed me up well. Taught me style.

How kind of her.

Not kind. For a reason. She started educating me on physical aspects.

Physical aspects, as in?

Sex. The bodily functions. How i can become powerful with my assets.

Ohh! Was that agreeable for you?

Well, I didn't think much about whether it was agreeable or disagreeable for me. I had no real talents, no papers, no money. I absorbed all that she was exposing to me. I felt excited. Finally I'm going to be somebody important. I wanted to feel big. This seemed to be a good way.

Did it happen that way? In that order? Did you become big and important?

Maybe in the outside i was. Big. Beautiful. Important. The experiences created a new me.

Your experience with?

Clients. My first client was my boss. She had a taste for young girls.

But isn't that very wrong?

I'm not sure what's wrong and right. She had the money. She took care of me. She might have used me in some ways but she didn't abuse me. The abuse came later. Much later.

How did that happen?

She sent me to her next client. Before sending me off she gave me some training. She trained  me about how i should serve him. He was her husband.

You make me dumbfounded. Speechless!

He brought me to Thailand. There i had many clients. Mostly from here. I was lucky the foreigners did not bother me. I was almost 19. I was too old for them. They preferred local young girls.

Hmmm..

Life in Thailand taught me many lessons. My boss' husband expected me to do extraordinary feats. When i am reluctant i will be punished.

Punished? Physically?

Yes. Some punishment involves my very private areas. It was unbearable. Some involved days without food. Alcohol was the only nourishment given. Which made me sick.

I'm so sorry for you.

No point in anyone feeling sorry for me. It was my own doing. All of it.

Perhaps, but..

I was sick on and off. Yet i needed to entertain these men and some women. The tattoos were done in order to create extra attraction on certain areas.

Oh! Gosh! Am i supposed to feel excited or repulsed?

For some it can be exciting. For some it might be repulsive. Depending on one's upbringing. Age too. When you're young some things will excite you. When you're older many things would make you want to throw up.

That's quite an awesome wink. From you. Considering what you've gone through.

What i told you is just the tip of the iceberg. From Thailand i went to India.

I see. How did that happen?

CONTINUED IN PART TWO