Death

I brought this milk tin for the old lady. Could you give her this twice a day please? It will give her a little bit of energy.

Hmm but do you know that this is a funeral house right now? The old lady's husband died. I don't think it's appropriate to bring in groceries now.

I'm really sorry that the old man died. But I believe to take care of those alive too. Do you understand what is the meaning of a funeral?

I'm not sure. I do know that there's lots of rituals, rules and regulations.

A funeral is a send off to a body. When a human dies we need to dispose the body as there is no use for it.

Yes and we have to do it properly so that it reaches its destination.

That destination is?

Heaven and hell.

What happens there?

The dead will either be punished or rewarded according to their deeds.

Don't the heaven and hell need bodies to punish? The body is left behind so, how you think it's going to be punished?

I... I don't know. That's what my parents and my grandparents told me. I never thought about all these issues before.

Let us leave that aspect alone. It's not up to us to speculate what happens to the soul. What is your role in this house?

I am the helper here. I have been here for the past five years. My master took me in after my husband left us.

Left as in?

He left us for another woman. I don't know where he is.

Us as in?

Me and my two daughters.

All of you stay here?

Yes, we do.

How did you come across this job?

I was working in a restaurant. Mr Rama used to come there for meals. He normally talked to me after dinner, over a few glasses of beers.

That's when he offered you the job?

Well...

Ohh.. You became close to him?

Yes. I talked to him about my troubles and he had his. He became a moral support. That was ten years ago.

You look young. How old were you then?

I was 35 and he was 65.

Is that not a big age gap for you?

Age did not matter. I was very unhappy. He was too. His wife was always sick. Bad diabetes. She could not look after him. He needed someone.

So you were his shoulders.

And he mine. Something like that.

How convenient!

It just happened. I don't know whether it is right or wrong. It solved many problems.

Hmm. When did you move in to this place?

Few years ago. He could not manage all the house chores and she was almost bedridden. So I offered to work here instead. I've been doing all the work. Looking after him and her.

Did she know the nature of your relationship with her husband?

Oh, no! I wouldn't do that to her. After meeting her, I felt very unhappy. I really do take care of her well. Like my mother.

Ah, but then he would be like your father, no?

Please don't say that! It was a twist of fate.

We could say that, can't we. It must be quite a shock for you. He dying off like this.

Yes.. Totally unexpected. But i feel that it's not too bad. As i have a place to stay. I will look after her well. I feel i owe it to her after all that has happened.

Hmm. Supposing this heaven and hell theory is right and your relationship is not something very right. Would your master travel to hell or heaven first? Perhaps he'd settle his account and then you catch up later?

I have no idea. This is not something i would think of. People like me only live for the particular moment. I'm not smart enough to analyse things. I do feel sorry for getting into this mess. But i cannot leave now.

It's alright. I guess everything is quite circumstantial here. I will not picture you as a serial villain. By the way, I wouldn't be sharing all these stories to everyone if i were you. Just stick to the maid story.

I agree. But most of them know without me telling them. Anyway i would be silent from now on.

Any idea what's going to happen in the future?

My master has written a will. He told me i could live here for as long as i want. I'm not hoping for anything big. I just need a roof over my head.

Your kids?

They're in a college nearby. He helped with their education. They will soon finish in a few years and then go to work. Perhaps then i can move to where they are. Only..

Only..

I'd only go once there's no one here.

When she dies..

Yes.

I guess the twist in fate is you becoming her nurse. Well i have to go. I do salute your noble ethics. Don't back out and live her in the lurch please.

Thank you. Don't worry, I won't do that.

Lethargy

Feeling lethargic and weak, I thought I should rest. That's what I've been doing lately.

As the messages in the insta started loading something caught my eye. It was a video.

I remember I have seen it before. Yet, today was different than the other day.

SHALINI SARASWATHI: SMELL THE ROSES AND BE HAPPY RIGHT NOW!

How apt! How courageous!

Somewhere within, we know time is precious. Unfortunately, it is the human tendency to forget.

True fighters never give up. True! I know that. Only, I tend to forget. The smallest troubles could disorientate me, me, the most powerful, strongest person I know of.

By saying this many me does not quote I'm an egotistical lass. I just know the dungeons I crawled out are many. Now, I am almost at the top.

How do I dismiss the constant pain?Why does it frequently come and go, come and go!

There was a moment I got fed up with the rest period and i grabbed my running shoes.At that particular moment, I reminisced, remembered why I bought it. Sweet Johnath had matching Nike shoes with matching caps. I bought a pair of pink Nike shoes and a pink t'shirt. I thought why not! While in Germany, no harm pampering myself. I couldn't buy an Audi, so I just bought the shoes.

Back to grabbing the shoes, I went to the tracks and started running. Ignore the panting. Ignore the irritant feeling. Somehow I couldn't. The pain was threateningly, scary. Indescribably scary.

I guess the unknown should scare me. But, after watching the video, I thought I'd do all that I wanted. Fill all my heart's desire. Continue dancing. Continue practicing. Continue working. If the blood pumping angel within me decides to stop, I'd say I pumped it to the last beat, to my heart;s fill.

I know I am happy. So, I am glad. :)   

Remember when..

Do you remember when i was leaning against your shoulder?

Where was this?

Hmm.. At the airport!

Were we ever at the airport?

No! We weren't really. But i thought perhaps it would have been fun.

Sitting in the airport?

No, just sitting with you. Leaning against your shoulder. Instead of..

Instead of?

Instead of you going off just like that. Disappeared into thin air!

I didn't disappear. I died, remember?

Yea, you did. But you could have sat with me for a while. A few times, a few moments, a few hours..

I didn't know my time was limited. Otherwise i would have sat with you. Wherever you wanted.

Hmm..

I would have made you happy. I would have not disappointed you in anyway. I would not have let you shed even a single tear.

But i did. Didn't i. I shed more than a million tears i believe.

I'm sorry.

All my tears didn't keep you with me, my love.

How i wish we had lived differently.

How i wish you didn't leave me.

I was not given a choice, my love.

What should we do?

You should live. While you live, hurt not another soul. Scratch not a single heart.

That's not too hard. Even if it was, I'd do it too. Just for you. Always for you.

And i for you.

Promise me something.

Yea sure.

Promise me you'd come back. Let's sit in the airport, again.

Again? .. Sure why not. Again!