Giraffe

You are awake at odd times again! Are you alright?

I'm good. I had enough sleep, so i woke up. Actually, I had a dream.

Ahh! Dreams again. It has been quite some time since you spoke of dreams.

Dreams and me are inseparable. Only now I'm not bothered by them. There was a giraffe. It was bowing down to me. I could only see its head. I knelt down and caressed its head. Then it stood up. Its height intimidated me. But, i rationalized that the giraffe is a herbivorous creature. Its not going to eat me. Its legs were too thin to squash me. Soo..

Soo.. ?

I just got up and started some work. I'm in the midst of doing some translations. It has been some time since i sat to write that i was lacking in discipline. Thus this little diversion of a chat.

Well, we could analyse your dream?

Analyse the giraffe?

I can notice your grin. Giraffes bowing down is a good sign. So look forward to something awesome coming your way.

Oh, wow! But then, for me every waking moment is an awesome thing. Every breath i take, every move i make, every job i complete! Everything, everyday is awesome.

But, you are in the midst of a financial crisis! How can life be good and awesome?

Let it be! That's man made. I contributed to it. Now i discovered what savings is all about. Bit by bit, put together, in time becomes a hill or even a mountain. No amount of advise or lecture would have taught me this.

True! Experience is our best teacher.

Yup. I got to start work. Nice chatting with you.

Always a pleasure. ;)

multiple intelligences

i don't want my child to sing. I don't want her to run. I don't want her to play, act or swim. I want her to study.

Only study?

Apart from the regular routines yes, I want her to study.

Why do you want her to only study?

I want her to excel in education. Score high marks. Become somebody.

Somebody as in a doctor, lawyer..

yes, of course.

I see. Is she happy with your ideas?

Not really. I think she hates me.

Because you make her study all the time?

Yes. She wants to sing. She wants to play with her friends. She's becoming quite rebellious. Angry all the time.

Do you have any idea why she wants what she wants?

No! I don't even want to know. I just want her to be obedient. Like how I was to my parents and grandparents.

I see. Did you want anything when you were a kid?

Maybe I did. I can't really remember.

When you close your eyes to sleep at night, do you feel complete bliss and fulfillment? Or do you feel you have missed some things in life?

I cannot say. I am too tired from work and I just drift off.. But I can't really say I'm totally blissful. Perhaps there are some missing parts within me.

Hmmm. Can you recall not having something you wanted to do?

I wanted to write. I liked writing songs. I was 15. It was the exam year and I had to stop writing lyrics as my time was all filled with tuition classes and homework.

So, you liked to sing too.

Yea, actually I did sing well. In fact I won several competitions. Mainly because my songs were unique. It was authentic compared to others' as I wrote my own lyrics.

But you did not pursue this?

I couldn't! My parents didn't allow me to. I went to college. Studied hard. Now, I work in a bank. My time is consumed with my career and managing my children. I'm happy to be this responsible mother.

Hmmm. What you're doing is awesome. But, can I suggest a few changes to it? I would like to bring your attention to some things which might help you to have a better relationship with your daughter.

Changes? I don't think any of us want changes. We only want academic excellence. We want our children to score and settle down in their lives with every possible goodness.

Have you heard of multiple intelligence?

I might have. I can't really remember.

It is the many intelligence that is within us. Some of us are musically inclined, some are great with numbers, others are good with languages while a handful would be terrific in sports.

I understand.

Understanding these intelligence in your children will give them a happy complete life!

Ohh! How can I do that?

You need to observe them. Study their likes and dislikes. By likes, dislikes I'm not acknowledging the destructive hobbies from the smart gadgets. I'm pointing at creative aspects like culinary skills, psychometric skills, musical capacity, sports and linguistics.

Where will I find the time? I'm so busy. They're busy. We need to be straight A's achievers to succeed. If we waste time doing this and that we might fall back.

Are you sure straight A's is the answer to a successful life? Do you know how many people collapse and fall into destructive lifestyle? Only because they have had an imbalanced childhood with unfulfilled desires.

I...

You seem disturbed. Have I caught your attention?

I was recalling a cousin who is in the hospital. Depressive and suicidal. Another relative who's been declared bankrupt because he was lost on how to manage his life. Balance...

Balance is important. Please try to absorb that.

I am trying to analyse and accept. I'm struck by your words. What if I create unhappy adults because of my pressure on my kids now to only focus on what I want them to do?

That's what I'm trying to make you understand. Children are beautiful creation of the universe. They need to unfold, bloom in all directions. Give them balance. Teach them balance in eating, playing, sleeping. Studying is part of playing so balance that equally. Praying is also part of playing. Instill that for ascetic discovery. All these creates a complete, compassionate, kind, happy and successful human being.  

I will consider what you said. After all what is life without happiness.

Well said! I wish you all the very best.