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I was looking for you. You have been missing for quite a while.

Yes. I have been very busy. A few important assignments. Huge files.

Files?

Children. With big troubles. Learning difficulties. Health issues. I had to spend quite a bit of time with them.

Ohh! I see. I was frantic when i couldn't get in touch with you.

Really? Why were you looking for me? How can i help you?

I wanted to ask you about something. It's kind of personal though!

Ohh! I will help you if i can.

I've been searching for something. For a while i thought i had it but that's not so.

What is it that you had?

A soulmate. A friend. A lover. A sibling. A father. A brother. All wrapped in one.  I expected that i had all these but it was disappointing.

Ahhh! How was it disappointing?

It's difficult to say. He was there yet not there. Kind and courteous but at the same time distant. I couldn't really penetrate his thoughts. There was always a wall in between.

Hmmm. You're looking for perfection. As you said, a soulmate.

Yes but that's not meant to be. The soulmate was a fake.

Fake?

Yes. He had other interests outside.

You mean affairs?

Yes. And he wasn't truthful about it. I cannot call him sneaky or conniving.

He was a silent killer. He got bored with you. He moved on. It's quite common nowadays.

Is it really?

Yes. There are worst cases. Kids are abandoned. Marriages break. All is gone.

But why?

It has become a trend. With the modern gadgets. Social media. Networking is wide and incredible. People from all over the world get connected.

Connections shouldn't break families. It shouldn't kill good relationships.

Well, that's what's happening. Unfortunate for some. Fortunate for some. It serves those foolish people right!

But why? I was desolate. In despair. I had something beautiful going then it vanished.

Well, have you heard of the three important shells that you need to break?

Huh? Not really!

Ego! Ignorance! Lust! Never heard of those?

Yea, I have but aren't they for those saints in tapas?

Not really. The day you discover you have gotten rid of these three is the day you're going to be high and mighty. In the truest sense.

Oh! Really! Could you tell me how?

I can but it has to be another day. I will see you again soon. And we shall talk about this.

Oh! Please do. I'm waiting.

Sure. Please excuse me. I have to leave now.

Little Poppet

R-u- Ru, m-a-h- mah, how you pronounce that?

Mah-mah

Mahmah? What happened to the RU in front?

Mahru?

Mah  comes at the back. What's the front sukukata?

Ru..

So? Ru followed by mah is... ?

Rumah..

What does rumah means?

House.

Ok. Now spell Hitam!

Hitam... Is Hitam itik teacher?

Huh! Oh,no! Hitam is the colour black, itik is the name for a duck. You know, quack, quack?

Oh! I feel confused.

Why do you feel confused?

I've never seen all these letters before. I don"t know Malay at all. No one spoke to me in Malay.

But you went to school? Your kindy? Didn't you learn these there?

Nooooo.. We sang many tamil songs. I can't remember what they did early in the morning..

Why? Did you forget?

I slept.

You slept? In school?

Yes. I slept in school.

Why do you sleep in school?

I feel sleepy.

I don't really understand you. What time do you sleep every day?

I sleep late. I don't know what time i go to sleep. I watch programmes in television. With my grandmother. Usually I find it difficult to get up in the morning My mother forces me to get up by caning me. So, I get up and go to school. Once there, I sleep.

Ahhh... I see. Nobody wakes you up in school?

They try, but I normally don't get up. I hear them but I am not able to respond.

I see. What happens then?

I get up later. We have our tiffin and then we sing songs and colour pictures. Sometimes we play games.

Hmmm... then?

I go back. My grandmother gives me lunch. Then, my grandfather makes us sleep after lunch.

Ahhh.. You sleep again?

Yes. After our nap, we get up. We go to the park. My grandfather brings all of us to the park near our house. We play. Once back, we bathe, eat and then watch television. Till we feel sleepy.

Hmmm... No wonder you are left behind in everything. Don't you try to think on how to study? That you need to know how to read?

What is thinking?

Well, that's a tough question!

Tough?

Tough means difficult.

But, you are the teacher. You should know everything, shouldn't you?

I'm looking for a right way to explain thinking to you. To make you understand. Let me see, when we are planning to go out and you want to choose your favourite dress, what do you do?

I will ask myself what i want. I ask my heart to choose the dress I want.

Well asking your heart to do things is thinking.

But in my house I don't choose anything. My mom gives me and I wear clothes. I don't choose. I did not have to think.

It's time you did. Now, ask your heart to remember what I teach you. Keep telling yourself until you learn everything. Listen to what I say. Repeat. Understand what I tell you. If you don't get it tell me to teach you again. I will teach you.

You are very clever cikgu. I am not clever. Everyone says I'm stupid. But, I really like to learn things with you. I like the new clothes, the doll and I even like to watch the Australian Spelling Bee that we watch on television.

You are a very smart girl. You can speak English now. Soon you will read and write well. Don't worry!

I'm not worried. I'm sleepy. Whenever I think of reading. I want to sleep.

I wish I could sleep like you little one.

You can cikgu. Hold my hand. I'm sure you're going to sleep just like me.

Sure, sure. You're a sweet darling. Thank you.

You're welcome Poppet... Why are you smiling? Isn't that what I'm supposed to say? When I say "thank you", you always said, "You're welcome poppet".

That's what I'd say. You should say, " You're welcome cikgu, or teacher or Miss. Ok?

Ok teacher. Good night.

Good night, little poppet.